To Dao Wei, I really don't understand what's wrong between me and you. Do you hate me as your sister so much? I really don't know what wrong have I done to you. Sometimes I feel really really hurt by your actions. Ytd, I went into your room to use the printer to print out the assignment that I have to hand in TODAY. I didn't disturb you. I made as little noise as possible so as not to disrupt you. I couldn't connect my com to the printer and I didn't dare to ask you. In the end, I asked my friend to print for me. Today when I reached home, Dao Yong told me the printer was missing and later, he found it in the living room. You didn't tell any of us you moved it. Heck, did I even bother you that much?? I know it was partially my fault that my com was infected with virus and yes, I had to bother you to reboot the com. But was it too much to ask for? You went to your friend's house in the middle of the night to help him with his com. I am your sis. If I knew how to do it by myself, I would. Why do you always treat me like I am a nuisance? That day, I asked you to help me install Microsoft office. It's not because I was too lazy to do so. It's because I don't have the disc!! You lost your temper, scolded and I honestly didn't know why to say. If you can just give me the disc, I can install it myself. And that's what you did. You threw it at me and I installed it. It feels so different from before. It's like I don't have an elder bro anymore. I don't know how to talk to you, I don't even know how to meet you face to face. My friends feel envious of me that I have an elder bro that's good at IT and all that but I can't bring myself to tell them he doesn't like me enough to help me that much. Its not just all these stuff. I remember that day, mum, me and you had lunch together. She left to pack dad's lunch or sth and it was you and me left at the table. I went to the drink stall to take away my drink and when I turned my head, you were gone. Without telling me. I tried to look for you and mum and I couldn't find both of you. I felt abandoned. Yes, I am big enough, it's just downstairs but still you just left like that. When I finally spotted you and mum, she was like where did you go?! I was angry and said you left without telling me. She thought I accused her and got angry with me. You just kept silent. In the end, I took the keys and went back home. From that day, I couldn't feel close to you anymore.

Hehe, a piece of good news. Ruiyun initiated a gathering with me and yue :) We only managed to have lunch together due to other commitments but to me, it had great significance. I was honestly worried about our friendship. I am usually the one who organizes gatherings so I was afraid that if I stop organizing the gatherings, we would slowly lose contact. But then, I didnt want to be the only one who commit anymore. So I am really glad that she wanted a meetup and was so enthusiastic about it.

Hmm.. did a whole string of projects lately. I dont know how to describe but it seems like I have discovered another piece of myself. I realized that its kind of stressful for others to work together with me. It seems like I might be too vocal in my opinions. I am not unfriendly. I really dont think I am. But it seems like I am stressing people out with my opinions. I think it wouldnt be that bad if my opinions are wrong. The problem is, sometimes I can pick out the flaws to an idea and question pp on it. I realize that when doing a project, after someone expresses an idea, everyone will look at me. I dont like to "reject" others' ideas but sometimes, they just cant work out. Its either not suitable or out of point. I hate to point it out but why waste everyone's time discussing about an idea that has major flaws. Sure, it might have great strengths as well but if we cant overcome the flaws then its still a bad idea. If I cant find a flaw to the idea then it means the idea is workable. Correct?

Usually, I plan project outlines too. From the things that need to be done to the deadlines that they are dued. Sometimes, I assign things that need to be prepared before a meeting. I know its stressful. You see a lot of things that need to be done and the limited amount of time to do them. But isnt it better to do a project with a clear direction than to plunge in aimlessly? I dont know but its not like I dont give others a chance to speak up. In fact, I always wait for others to start the discussion and I am really fine with going along with others as long as it makes sense. If someone can take charge, I can definitely be a follower. If the topic is not my forte, I wont take charge either.

I really am a good project team member. But somehow, it seems like something is wrong.

So so full~ Haha, I was too hungry just now so I ate 2 plates of beehoon. Greedy me!! Haven been studying today. Spent the whole day watching shows, sleeping and going to tuition. Speaking of tuition, when I went into her room today, I got a shock. There was one big stack of practice exam papers, other schools' exam papers and assessment books on her table. I was like "uh oh!!". I can predict her CA results. Fortunately, its wasnt that bad. Mostly 60 plus. At least no fails. I think her dad will really panic if she falls below 60. And then it will be my turn to panic.

Next week is recess week. Yay!! Can rest.. or maybe not. There is a lot of projects due after recess week. Or should I say, recess week is the best time to finish up all the projects. Hmm.. I actually dont mind doing the individual work part of projects. What I dont like is specially going out somewhere to meetup with the other projects and spend one or two hours doing unproductive work and then come back home. Such a waste of time. Hw111 group should be fine, same goes for he192 group. Jinjin is so nice to accomodate our schedule. Ms2030 is a horror. The group is so scattered and disorganized. Hais..

Had my hp314b and hp206 quiz this week. Lol, did quite badly for 314b T-T but 206 should be not bad. Hehe, I have confidence in my cognitive ability :P

Anyway, finally took my gucci bag out this week. Really.. zhong kan bu zhong yong. Not waterproof, and the cloth material can get dirty easily. I guess we are really paying for the brand rather than the bag itself.

Correction. Dinner wasnt that bad after all :)

Just woke up from a long long nap. Lately I have been feeling very tired. I haven been doing much though. Weird.. Yesterday I had quite a bad headache. It suddenly came during tuition and gosh, I wanted to go home so badly. The lrt ride was a killer. So crowded and noisy. After I reached home, I flopped down on my bed and fell asleep. Haha, dirty, didnt bath but couldnt get myself to do it. Thankfully this morning when I woke up, the headache was gone =)

Hmm.. been some time since I last posted. Nothing much happened except for the usual academic stuff. Oh, me and yue finally went to the tour agency and we booked a trip to taiwan!! All paid and all procedures done!! Hehe, this time there will be nothing to stop us from going. Looking very forward to it. Its 4D3N with a land tour on the second day. There's hotspring too!! Going to shop and eat and shop and eat. It will be straight after our final exams so I guess I have found my motivation to work hard during the torturous exam period.

Quite a lot of assignments and projects to work on now but the deadlines are reasonable so not much stress there. Have been dutifully keeping up with the readings so for the first time, I have nothing to catch up with!! Haha, I have learnt my lesson from hp201 last semester. Hopefully, this semester will go well. Econs is really hard. Dont know why I didnt learn my lesson from he211. Well, I guess I was too happy that he192 fitted so nicely into my timetable. Hais, guess I just have to struggle and try my best since I cant S/U either.

Hmm.. not sure why but lately I have been feeling very out of place with my family. I feel that my mum is really biased towards my bro. I feel that I really dont like my bro. Dont know how to communicate with them. Dont want to communicate with them. Dont think I can communicate with them. When I am home, I want to close my door and enjoy the personal space that I have. Dont want to have dinner with any of them. Dont think I will have lunch with them either. Sometimes I wonder, is it really true that mothers will always be biased towards their sons?

It has been a really long time since I last blogged. Lol, I can't even remember what my last post consisted of. Hmm.. for starters, school has reopened and fortunately, I have all 6 modules in my bag. There are still many vacancies for ee8064 though. Wonder whats up with that module, besides the super dry content and the super annoying lecturer. We are young adults more than 20 years old!! Not kindergarden kids that need fairy tales!! She is the only lecturer that I encountered so far who conducts her lecture as if she is speaking to children. -.-

The textbooks cost a lot.. T-T. Big or small, thick or thin, they are still $50 each. Boohoo, my $$ are gone with the wind. Speaking about money, I am honestly amazed at how much I spent during the last 2 months. I am not far from depleting my spending account. Got to save, save and save!!

Hmm.. major happening right before school started. Hais.. not sure how I am supposed to settle it. I had a fight(??) or should I say it was a one-sided disagreement on my side with ruiyun. Yue's bday was nearing and I asked her out to shop for her present. She said she was busy with her cca but promised that she will surely make it for the celebration/gathering. Then over the week, I sent her smses asking her about the location etc. Gosh, I dont need her to do anything other than reply my smses telling me which location she prefers. Is it that hard?? Apparently, it was. She didnt reply and I got pissed off. Sent her an sms clearly indicating my frustration and anger and clearly asking for her to suggest a location. Got a reply within 15 mins saying she was busy with her cca and she has no preference. ?!?! How busy can she be with cca that she cant reply to my previous smses but reply that fast to this one? It goes to show how important she think the gathering is.

On the night before the gathering, it was 12.30am actually, I sent an sms to her to inform her of a change in dinner timing. She replied thanks for organizing but she had a sudden cca meeting thus she cannot make it. !!!! At 12.30am? How sudden is the meeting?! Excuses. Really. She is in nbs. She should be able to lie better than that. I am not unreasonable. If she had told me earlier eg in the day that something cropped up and she really cant make it, I would be disappointed but not upset. But honestly, to tell me at midnight and it being a reply to my sms, I cant help but think that she either forgot entirely about the gathering or she just didnt want to go. She told me she felt bad too. Yeah, right. Cant blame me for not believing that. Told her to enjoy the meeting and goodnight. Cant blame me for being sarcastic either.

I feel really disappointed with her attitude. I thought our friendship would be able to last.. i dunno, forever?? At least till we graduate. To me, commitment is very impt in a relationship, whatever the nature. When someone doesnt make the effort to commit, I dont see the point to maintaining the bond. Sf said that she doesnt believe I would cut off my friendship with her. When I am not angry anymore, everything would be fine. Problem is, it is not anger that I feel. Anyway, she had made no effort to improve things. She probably doesnt think its a big deal.

Something happier, my dad bought me a Gucci bag!! Wahaha!! Its my 21st bday present!! Very very nice of him =)

Halfway through my holiday and I am now very used to my idle lifestyle. Haha, I sleep at around 2am everyday and I wake up at about 12pm. Lol, I thought I would be able to catch up on my sleep during this holiday but for some reason, I still feel tired. I have read a lot a lot of books. There is nothing much that I can do at home. The computer is not that interesting now that exams are over and there is only so much time that I can spend with my tiny kitchen and tap resort. Hehe, my kitchen and islands are growing beautifully!! =)

I resumed my tuitions this week and I was quite annoyed with one of my kids as she threw everything out of her brain during the one month dec break. Geez, how can parents just let their kids go wild during the holidays and expect them to adjust quickly to school life once school reopens. Reading is very much encouraged. Hais, I hope she catches on soon. Her dad is already panicking over the number of mistakes she made in her assessment books. Met my new tuition kid today. A very nice enthusiastic boy. I was so touched when he brought out all the materials willingly and discussed with me the teaching methods that he like and what he needs to improve on. Hopefully, he would still be like this next week.

I accidentally burnt my finger today T-T. Was trying to cook with the new frying pan and I touched the metal surface. Dont think its anything serious though. Not much of a blister. Going to register for my modules next tues. Gosh, I hope that I would be able to get all or at least most of the indexes that I have planned. Its the most perfect, ideal timetable. Thankfully,our coordinator has already registered hw111 for us. Hee, thanks Lydia!! One down =) Results will be out next next tues. Wish me good luck!! =P

Finished exams two days ago. Didnt feel very happy though. Haha, felt very empty instead. Dont know what I am supposed to do for my one month holiday. Yesterday I spent the whole day painting my nails and today I went out with Yue to shop around at orchard. Hais.. felt so old. We used to get very excited at clothes, shoes, accessories etc but today, I didnt feel any excitement. They didnt feel appealing at all. In the end, I went to highlight my hair. Haha, spent a hundred bucks on it.

Met an interesting pair while eating lunch today. There was this guy sitting beside us who was complaining to his partner about Singapore's foreign influx, the culture or should I say the lack of culture, the education system and the unbelievable crowd everywhere. Singapore is overcrowded!! Haha, Yue and I were so quiet throughout the lunch. We were busy listening. The funny thing is the guy wanted to eat fries but there were no small fries, only one large size, so he didnt order in the end and we had a lot of leftover fries. He was staring incredulously at us when we left the table with lots of fries uneaten. Lol.

Met up with Jas today. Haven seen her in a while. She passed me some homemade cookies. Turned out she was distributing cookies to all her friends. Hais.. I was hoping that she would give me a bday or xmas present. Not that I really want the present but rather the thought. A card would be really nice as well. And I prepared a gift and card for her T_T

Yue was superwoman today. She shopped for 6 hours non-stop to find xmas presents for me and shufang. Haha, luckily at the end of the day she did manage to pick out some presents. I wonder whats mine. She said its stylish. Lol, I highly doubt her words though.